Soooooooooo, at the beginning of this process, I had told everyone that asked, that I would consider my transition complete once it was changed on my birth certificate. Well, I sent them paperwork three times, and after the surgeons office yelled at them, and after a small paperwork snafu on their part (and the person I talked to owned up to it right away and was very apologetic and extremely helpful), I received my corrected birth certificate in the mail yesterday. It was a HUGE relief that all my paperwork (once I change it with social security) will be all accurate to who I am inside and out.
The strangest part is that, well, the only emotion I have is relief. I think I had gone through all the other emotion possible at one point or another on this journey. Relief was the only one left. It's a good feeling. So, in sticking with the title of this blog (The Road of Transitioning), this is where I take the exit as I have reached my destination. As long as Social Security goes smoothly, there will be nothing left to report on or experience as my transition is over.
I will be opening a new blog about my experiences of being with in the gay leather community and all the (hopefully) fun times with that. If you choose to join me on that adventure, I'll see you then, otherwise, thanks for traveling with me and I hope you enjoyed the ride!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Monday, November 21, 2011
Final Changes
Soooooooo, I got the "official" letter from the surgeon about my surgery being completed and such, way back in September/October. It was the letter to get my birth certificate changed and my driver's license and everything else. So, I mailed it off to my home state to get that changed. Well, evidently states are SOOOOOOOOO incredibly technical with exactly how the letters are written. So, I had to get a second letter done. That one got mailed a week ago to my home state. But, I have changed my driver's license and my car insurance (and the car insurance wants another $20, cause I'm now a girl?? wtf?). I'm changing my college transcript later today (cause I haven't done the name change there either). Pretty soon, I'll be completely finished. It's funny, cause I figured I'd be happy and excited at this point and ready to go out and celebrate. But, you know what? I'm not. Yeah, I'm happy. I'm also relieved and tremendously tired. I'm just ready for this to be over and get back to the important things in life, like fixing up the house and not having to work two jobs (though, it seems, I'll be doing the two jobs until I'm dead).
But it's a much more relaxed and relieved feeling than anything. It's nice cause I still have my baby to snuggle with and things are going great. I'm just ready for the rest of my life to really get going!
But it's a much more relaxed and relieved feeling than anything. It's nice cause I still have my baby to snuggle with and things are going great. I'm just ready for the rest of my life to really get going!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Billing
Okay, so technically, I did not actually get a bill. HOWEVER, I did get the Explaination of Benefits and found out how much my surgery COULD cost someone that does not have any insurance. So, everything from the hospital; room and board, anesthesia, drugs, and everything: $84,435.62. And that is without the plane ride, the hotel, the taxi, the food when I was at the hotel, this is JUST the hospital. Which makes me wonder how the douchebags in Washington DC are saying that getting healthcare for everyone is a bad thing, yet they have the best health insurance in this country. If you're complaining about insurance or having to have it, then suck my left nut. It's in a jar at a hospital somewhere in California, just so you can suck on it.
Alright, I'm going to try staying away from politics for the rest of this, cause another thing that occured was an issue with doing my recovery stuff at work. I have to say, I have the BEST doctor IN THE WORLD!!!!!! The first application was turned down. The thing is, is that if I do not do this procedure enough, then my surgery could actually collapse and that would be really really really bad. So, we attempted again and my doctor was just AWESOME with it. I had what I needed as soon as I went back to work. LOVE THAT MAN!!!!!!!
I do have to say that I really enjoy cooking with my girlfriend. We work really well together and we get A-MAZING food. What more could a girl ask for? LOVE YOU POUNCIE McPOUNCEPOUNCE!!!!!!
Alright, I'm going to try staying away from politics for the rest of this, cause another thing that occured was an issue with doing my recovery stuff at work. I have to say, I have the BEST doctor IN THE WORLD!!!!!! The first application was turned down. The thing is, is that if I do not do this procedure enough, then my surgery could actually collapse and that would be really really really bad. So, we attempted again and my doctor was just AWESOME with it. I had what I needed as soon as I went back to work. LOVE THAT MAN!!!!!!!
I do have to say that I really enjoy cooking with my girlfriend. We work really well together and we get A-MAZING food. What more could a girl ask for? LOVE YOU POUNCIE McPOUNCEPOUNCE!!!!!!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
One month later
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. . .it's been a month since my surgery (well, to the day, due to the time difference, and having very little memory of waking up, I'm not going to count it to the hour). I'm healing pretty well. It's still a little soar and I'm still having to deal with taking it easy, I have been able to do more and function pretty close to a healthy human. I go back to work in two days and it's kinda weird.
There's one side of me that is thinking about the concept of getting back to normal. I mean, I still have two jobs and will still be getting up EVERY morning to go to work. The jobs haven't changed, my duties haven't changed, my bosses haven't changed, my co-workers are the same. So it's pretty much getting back to life.
Then there's the other side. I feel like a whole new person. Granted just a small bit of my anatomy has changed and I can wear tight dresses and skirts. . .okay, tight skirts, my belly, while no longer a half keg, is still not close to a six pack. . .or even a two pack. But I'll start working on that soon. Anyway, things are different. I have accomplished something that truly started in kindergarten (yeah twenty eight years ago). Except for the legal stuff, I'm all done.
The thing is, for many of the older (I mean really older) girls who transition, once they transition, they kinda kick back and enjoy the rest of their lives. That's fine for them, they've earned it and they are more than entitled to it. But that's not who I am. Yeah, I worked long and hard to transition, but now it's about equality. Let's face it, this country has a GIGANTIC problem with equality. Every time I turn around, there are stories in the paper about it, and you can see it coming through in what you hear on the radio or see on TV. Yes, men and women are different, hetero people and homo people are different, and yes there are tons of "boxes" that the "powers that be" try to label us in. Yes, being different is a good thing, but what occurs here based on that is. . .well, the dumbest f-ing thing on this planet. Yeah, I said it. And you know it's true. Women couldn't vote until the last century. People of color, especially in the south, were discriminated against to vote, and those of us that are marginalized for whatever reason need to understand that most of this country is not happy with how this is all being done. But no one has figured out how to change it or what to change it to. I'm not saying that I have an answer. However, the bullying, whether it be on the play ground, in the class room, at a job site, in Congress, at the United Nations, or wherever needs to end. We can be equal without being the same. Equality is not about being the same little goober as the person next to us (I can't believe I used the word goober in my journal/blog).
So, anyway, my intentions are to be subtle about showing equality, but that's my goal. I'm looking to (once I'm used to being back in the swing of things), start volunteering and helping with charity things and show people that one small little woman has no problems helping out the world where it's needed. We'll see how well that works.
On a different note. Those that read the last entry might remember about me doing more show and tell for the medical community. I talked about it with my counselor a couple of weeks ago. And she gave me the contact person at the Medical College's contact info. Well, I've thought about it and I have to say, that I am not as comfortable with the concept as I had thought that I would be. My doctors I have no problems showing. Strangers (be they medical people or not), I'm not really that comfortable with. As much as the medical field needs to learn how to treat us, I am not comfortable being the woman that does it. I'll answer questions and share information, but I'm not willing to show my who-who to complete strangers.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
There's one side of me that is thinking about the concept of getting back to normal. I mean, I still have two jobs and will still be getting up EVERY morning to go to work. The jobs haven't changed, my duties haven't changed, my bosses haven't changed, my co-workers are the same. So it's pretty much getting back to life.
Then there's the other side. I feel like a whole new person. Granted just a small bit of my anatomy has changed and I can wear tight dresses and skirts. . .okay, tight skirts, my belly, while no longer a half keg, is still not close to a six pack. . .or even a two pack. But I'll start working on that soon. Anyway, things are different. I have accomplished something that truly started in kindergarten (yeah twenty eight years ago). Except for the legal stuff, I'm all done.
The thing is, for many of the older (I mean really older) girls who transition, once they transition, they kinda kick back and enjoy the rest of their lives. That's fine for them, they've earned it and they are more than entitled to it. But that's not who I am. Yeah, I worked long and hard to transition, but now it's about equality. Let's face it, this country has a GIGANTIC problem with equality. Every time I turn around, there are stories in the paper about it, and you can see it coming through in what you hear on the radio or see on TV. Yes, men and women are different, hetero people and homo people are different, and yes there are tons of "boxes" that the "powers that be" try to label us in. Yes, being different is a good thing, but what occurs here based on that is. . .well, the dumbest f-ing thing on this planet. Yeah, I said it. And you know it's true. Women couldn't vote until the last century. People of color, especially in the south, were discriminated against to vote, and those of us that are marginalized for whatever reason need to understand that most of this country is not happy with how this is all being done. But no one has figured out how to change it or what to change it to. I'm not saying that I have an answer. However, the bullying, whether it be on the play ground, in the class room, at a job site, in Congress, at the United Nations, or wherever needs to end. We can be equal without being the same. Equality is not about being the same little goober as the person next to us (I can't believe I used the word goober in my journal/blog).
So, anyway, my intentions are to be subtle about showing equality, but that's my goal. I'm looking to (once I'm used to being back in the swing of things), start volunteering and helping with charity things and show people that one small little woman has no problems helping out the world where it's needed. We'll see how well that works.
On a different note. Those that read the last entry might remember about me doing more show and tell for the medical community. I talked about it with my counselor a couple of weeks ago. And she gave me the contact person at the Medical College's contact info. Well, I've thought about it and I have to say, that I am not as comfortable with the concept as I had thought that I would be. My doctors I have no problems showing. Strangers (be they medical people or not), I'm not really that comfortable with. As much as the medical field needs to learn how to treat us, I am not comfortable being the woman that does it. I'll answer questions and share information, but I'm not willing to show my who-who to complete strangers.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Show and Tell
So, it's been two weeks since my surgery. Two really cool things happened today:
First, I got an email from Vital Statistics in my birth state so that I know what I need to get my birth certificate fixed for myself!!! YAY!!!!!!!
Second, I went and saw my regular doctor, just to make sure that everything was going okay and when I could go to work and all that other fun stuff. He says that I'm doing okay and gave me time off until after Labor Day (as long as everything goes smooth). And then, we invited all the nurses, nursing students, medical assistants and medical assistant students who wanted to, to come view my va-jay-jay. They got a chance to see the surgery and ask any questions. It went pretty well, they seemed really into it and asked a few really good questions. I actually think that it is something that I will be willing to do education with for a while. I enjoyed the teaching part of it. However, I did learn that I will need to do a slight bit of preparation on what I want to say and all the info that I should give them before we do the show and tell part. But it was fun and I did enjoy it.
Course, now that I look back on it, I really wish that I could say it felt weird to have been almost a prop for show and tell, but I really weirded out by it and I was involved in the show and tell, so I'm fine with it. :-)
First, I got an email from Vital Statistics in my birth state so that I know what I need to get my birth certificate fixed for myself!!! YAY!!!!!!!
Second, I went and saw my regular doctor, just to make sure that everything was going okay and when I could go to work and all that other fun stuff. He says that I'm doing okay and gave me time off until after Labor Day (as long as everything goes smooth). And then, we invited all the nurses, nursing students, medical assistants and medical assistant students who wanted to, to come view my va-jay-jay. They got a chance to see the surgery and ask any questions. It went pretty well, they seemed really into it and asked a few really good questions. I actually think that it is something that I will be willing to do education with for a while. I enjoyed the teaching part of it. However, I did learn that I will need to do a slight bit of preparation on what I want to say and all the info that I should give them before we do the show and tell part. But it was fun and I did enjoy it.
Course, now that I look back on it, I really wish that I could say it felt weird to have been almost a prop for show and tell, but I really weirded out by it and I was involved in the show and tell, so I'm fine with it. :-)
Thursday, August 18, 2011
HOME
So, I have to say, that I am almost done with this journal/blog. I am back home safe and sound (thanks in a large part to Berry Bear! *giggle*) I have what I need to feel accurate and now I am just waiting on the court papers from Bowers office and then I can submit my paperwork to change my birth certificate and everything and be completely done with the transition. If you have been reading this whole journal, though, you will have realized that I probably have some interesting stories of that road as well.
Course, I'm hoping that all the legal stuff goes smoothly, so I won't have anything to actually write about. But, we'll see.
Course, I'm hoping that all the legal stuff goes smoothly, so I won't have anything to actually write about. But, we'll see.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
A Week Later
So, I spent time in the recovery ward. It was not the best in the world. Well, actually, that's because of the catheter, Let me TELL YOU, THOSE THINGS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, the nurses were awesome and they taught me how to roll as well as the fact that their mac and cheese ends up causing everyone to order out!
However, I did get to walk all over the place, including seeing the waterfall and attempting to make an escape!! (okay, not really, but we did go down by the entrance. One of the area's EMT's was complaining about taking it up the butt, as he was using the water fountain. He popped his head up and I asked him, "Did you at least get dinner? Cause if you're taking it up the butt, they should at least buy you dinner first." He started laughing at that, and I was glad to brighten his day!!
The surgeon finally came and take a look at us and we were allowed to go home. But, let me tell you, hotel with a catheter, or hospital with a catheter, they both SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! We basicaly just stayed around the hotel, took a little bit of time to walk and relax and had breakfasts. Course, sitting was not really pleasant in the slightest.
FINALLY, it was Tuesday and I went to the surgeon's office. The girl there took the packing out and showed me how to use the dilators which are necessary to make sure that I don't end up collapsing, cause I really do have what I'm supposed to downstairs!!!!!!!! *giggle* (not that I'm excited *giggle*) The nice part was getting the catheter out. OH. MY. GODDESS, I really don't want to ever have one in my body ever again.
However, my friend that also went through the surgery, well, she didn't do too well. She stayed around waiting for the surgeon to take a look at her. We went to dinner (a really nice place called Mimi's Cafe). Beloved had beer battered fish. The beer of choice that they use for ALL their beer battered fish? Sam Adams. YUP! A Boston based micro-brew is the choice of beer in California!!!!!
We headed home after trying to get stuff at Target, but my body is still getting used to full mobility, so we popped in the taxi and headed home.
My friend at the surgeons (who we had heard the receptionist say that the surgeon was going to be there right after surgery) never got to see the surgeon cause she never showed up. They eventually came home and she was feeling better, but she had been bleeding and feeling sharp pains. Beloved actually went and took a look at her (at request of her mom), and got her feeling better. I really do pray that she is going to do fine. She's really super cool and a HUGE sweetheart. Both Beloved and I think that it is pretty suckey that the surgeon wouldn't show up and take a look at her. As well as it was a girl that was definitely not a nurse that undid the dressing/packing and showing us how to use the dilators. She was only a Medical Assistant who was working on the surgeon's patients WITHOUT the surgeon being there.
It gets pretty scary to find out that the aftercare has been pretty crappy. I mean, I'm pretty happy with the results on me, but, I really feel like after surgery, the surgeon has basically fled for the next set of girls coming in for surgery. We had originally thought that there was only one set of surgeries per month, however, Beloved found out that she averages 10 a month. As well as presentations and speeches and her kid who started high school.
But, like I said, Beloved checked on her and we ended up talking for a decent time and had a really good evening. Beloved and I are relaxing on the couch and actually watching TV (which is kinda different for us). I can say that as interesting as it is, I really don't want a life where I set it up around what is on a television.
The only bad thing, though, is that I finally have a VaJay-Jay AND I'm basically getting my first period at the same time!!!! Okay, that's not completely true! *GIGGLE* I am still bleeding slightly from the surgery, so Beloved and I joke that I am getting my first period since the care for the bleeding is to wear a pad. Other than that I really can't complain (since the catheter is out!!!!! *GIGGLE*)
However, I did get to walk all over the place, including seeing the waterfall and attempting to make an escape!! (okay, not really, but we did go down by the entrance. One of the area's EMT's was complaining about taking it up the butt, as he was using the water fountain. He popped his head up and I asked him, "Did you at least get dinner? Cause if you're taking it up the butt, they should at least buy you dinner first." He started laughing at that, and I was glad to brighten his day!!
The surgeon finally came and take a look at us and we were allowed to go home. But, let me tell you, hotel with a catheter, or hospital with a catheter, they both SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! We basicaly just stayed around the hotel, took a little bit of time to walk and relax and had breakfasts. Course, sitting was not really pleasant in the slightest.
FINALLY, it was Tuesday and I went to the surgeon's office. The girl there took the packing out and showed me how to use the dilators which are necessary to make sure that I don't end up collapsing, cause I really do have what I'm supposed to downstairs!!!!!!!! *giggle* (not that I'm excited *giggle*) The nice part was getting the catheter out. OH. MY. GODDESS, I really don't want to ever have one in my body ever again.
However, my friend that also went through the surgery, well, she didn't do too well. She stayed around waiting for the surgeon to take a look at her. We went to dinner (a really nice place called Mimi's Cafe). Beloved had beer battered fish. The beer of choice that they use for ALL their beer battered fish? Sam Adams. YUP! A Boston based micro-brew is the choice of beer in California!!!!!
We headed home after trying to get stuff at Target, but my body is still getting used to full mobility, so we popped in the taxi and headed home.
My friend at the surgeons (who we had heard the receptionist say that the surgeon was going to be there right after surgery) never got to see the surgeon cause she never showed up. They eventually came home and she was feeling better, but she had been bleeding and feeling sharp pains. Beloved actually went and took a look at her (at request of her mom), and got her feeling better. I really do pray that she is going to do fine. She's really super cool and a HUGE sweetheart. Both Beloved and I think that it is pretty suckey that the surgeon wouldn't show up and take a look at her. As well as it was a girl that was definitely not a nurse that undid the dressing/packing and showing us how to use the dilators. She was only a Medical Assistant who was working on the surgeon's patients WITHOUT the surgeon being there.
It gets pretty scary to find out that the aftercare has been pretty crappy. I mean, I'm pretty happy with the results on me, but, I really feel like after surgery, the surgeon has basically fled for the next set of girls coming in for surgery. We had originally thought that there was only one set of surgeries per month, however, Beloved found out that she averages 10 a month. As well as presentations and speeches and her kid who started high school.
But, like I said, Beloved checked on her and we ended up talking for a decent time and had a really good evening. Beloved and I are relaxing on the couch and actually watching TV (which is kinda different for us). I can say that as interesting as it is, I really don't want a life where I set it up around what is on a television.
The only bad thing, though, is that I finally have a VaJay-Jay AND I'm basically getting my first period at the same time!!!! Okay, that's not completely true! *GIGGLE* I am still bleeding slightly from the surgery, so Beloved and I joke that I am getting my first period since the care for the bleeding is to wear a pad. Other than that I really can't complain (since the catheter is out!!!!! *GIGGLE*)
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