New Roller Derby League

So, there is a new derby league. Many of you might be wondering the story behind it. I will be honest, and polite (I know this sounds like new thing for me, but I'm going to give it a try). There were many mis-communications on the Albany All Stars league and there were thoughts and talks about splitting the league. One of the girls wanted to hear what some of the skaters thought and started a group to get their input. Word got back to particular members and an unplanned discussion began which led to several people (four, if my memory serves me correctly) being thrown out of the Albany League. Everyone was forced to make a decision which of the two leagues to join, because it was stated by the Albany League that you could not be member of two leagues. Several of the people who were thrown out were the ones that had kept me in derby at that point. It was their kind words and encouragements that made me want to still do derby. I was actually debating whether to join a different league or leave derby at this point. So, I explained to the head referee of Albany that I was leaving but that I was more than willing to help out at bouts, and I walked out in support of my friends.
We ended up having an informal meeting that night so that we could support each other with what we had just experienced and it was a nice time spent with my friends. The good part with this group is that I feel a much stronger tie to the group. I am much more involved with the group and have shifted my priorities in life in order to help get the new league off the ground.
In truth, I was looking for a new league to join. I had heard of Pittsfield starting up, and had thought about driving all the way to CT once a week to join Pioneer Valley. However, the Hellions of Troy have welcomed me and I am officially (I think) a Hellion and am willing to help them out as best as I can.

Derby Fun at Troy Night Out

Well, I just returned from having a blast with the Hellions of Troy. They are the roller derby league that I am affiliated with. We attended an event called the Troy Night Out which helps with the art community of Troy. We were supposed to skate out at Monument Park, but the rain did not let us. We also "fliered" the area. This is when you hand out fliers to people that are watching what you are doing, or that you think would be interested in derby. We stopped in a couple of the art studios and a few coffee shops. It was nice because I saw one of my friends from college and got to talk to her about transitioning and stuff, as well as trying to get her to start with derby (or at least come to watch it).
The most fun parts of the night were when we came up with a new derby strategy, and when we handed fliers to the cops. We decided the new strategy will be called Shock and Porn. It's named after two of our skaters, but we are hoping that it will help the team. I would reveal more, but I am afraid of giving tactics away. The other exceptionally fun part was when two of the girls (I beleive it was Ida and Chesty, but I could be wrong), fliered the Troy Police. The cops told the girls that they were the Off Brothers, Jerk and Jack. We also mentioned that we were looking for a space to skate and they said they would try to help us. We were really excited with the cops having a whole conversation with us and I already sent in the photos that I have of the girls "soliciting" the cops.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

Several years ago, I was a very active member of the gay leather community. My best friend (at the time) was a title and former title holder and I went with her to many events. Sometime we just went to support it, sometimes we were going to help out with the actual event. We had a blast (at least I did) at the event as well as traveling there. At the time, I just considered myself a drag queen, but I always did the events as Tiffany Jean (aka the vinyl princess). I received some great support about how the leather community needed, or that it was a great way to open the community up to the rest of the gay community. Some of the best support came from some long time members of the community.
Then came a date that I was scheduled to help at. I was told that I would not be allowed to dress. I understand the reasoning behind it. They had a difficult time getting a leather event to be held in that particular city. In hindsight, I don't blame them for having to tell me not to dress. HOWEVER, it was the same people who were supporting me privately and couldn't publicly. In our present day and time, an honest person is hard to find. I will admit that I am not always honest, but I try my hardest and pick my wording VERY VERY carefully. I also have a good memory for important conversations in my life and that, too, makes me careful with the words that I choose.
I will give the leather people the respect that they have earned. They took me aside afterward and thanked me for not dressing. They understood what I went through and how difficult it was. It was very difficult to understand how someone could be moving towards what I was doing privately and not be able to do it publicly. This makes it difficult for me to trust peoples words. Their actions are what I base my judgements on. However, it makes it much easier for them to gain my trust.
One of my derby friends did a very simple thing and I think she's one of the greatest people in the world!!! She has recently shown that to be even more true (but that has to do with my next post). What she did to gain my trust was very simple. Before a practice, she came over to me and handed me an invite. Her significant other had completed a documentary that was his final project for school. It was a documentary on transitioning, and she knew that it was a topic that was very important to me. She wasn't forceful about it, she just simply explained it and invited me to the opening of it. Just that simple act showed me that she cared and, at least wanted to understand what I was doing (granted, since her significant other had transitioned, she did understand it very VERY well). For me, it's the little things that show me what type of message you actually want to send to me.

Stay tuned for news on the derby front

Marriage Equality March--Albany

So, I was one of the volunteer co-ordinators for Albany's 1st Marriage Equality March across the pedestrian bridge (over I-787). It was a lot of work, but it was fun and I think we really did a good job of getting the message out. Two politicians showed up, Tracy Brooks and Paul Tonko. I got to see some friends and we ended up with over 200 people at the march. If you came out to the march, or supported it (with donations or volunteering or whatever you could) THANK YOU!!!! It was a tremendous success and I can't wait until next years march!!!!!!

Waiting and hoping and having no clue

So, I wrote my ex-girlfriend a letter. I have finally gotten to the point where I am comfortable enough to be friends again. Our last fight is what ended our relationship and we just stopped communicating with one another. I have found out that she wants her old boyfriend and I am okay with that (not all that happy, but I am finally okay with it). So, since we haven't been communicating and I had lost a small thing of hers, I replaced it and gave that and the letter to her mom. At the end of the letter (which I photocopied so that I can actually include it in my book), I told her that if she didn't want anything to do with me, I would leave her alone and that she needed to contact me in order for us to have a friendship again. I didn't want her to feel forced to communicate with me, so I wasn't all that comfortable staying around her and stuff. I'm just hoping that we can be some type of friends again. She's the one that I gave my virginity to (yes, I was thirty before I was willing to give it away, that's a story for another day), and I do actually care about her, but I don't know how well she took the letter or if she even read it or gives to shits about me. It's something that I'm going to have to eventually be okay with, cause there is a decent chance that she doesn't care and I'll never hear from her again. So, tonight, I'm accomplishing a few projects and now I intend to watch a movie and probably drink half a bottle of wine.

Background info

So, I have to let those of you know that I am involved in the BDSM world. It is very different from what we call the "vanilla" world. I will some day explain more, but this is to help you all understand about my "family." In the BDSM world there are many different types and styles of people. I, myself, define myself as a switch. This means that I am able to fill any type of role that is necessary. There are five basic types. Tops, Doms, bottoms, subs and switch. Tops are the ones that are in control at least during "play time." Doms are the ones in control during most of the couples life. Bottoms like to be the one relinquishing control during play. Subs are the one that prefer the other partner is in control and switches are ready for any type of role that they choose. I define myself as a switch only because I am comfortable in either roles. Currently I am looking to become a submissive, but it has been a really long search. When the time is right, and I have found the right partner, then it will occur. Not before. Now, in this world, a collar is a symbol of being the bottom or sub of someone. Others in this world know to not play or do anything harmful to you because you are under someone else.
I am currenlty collared to a wonderful man. He is considered my Daddy. In the BDSM world this is a term that is usually used for the "top" part of a couple that are sexually intimate with one another. This is NOT how this man and I define our relationship. He is a wonderful man who has an equally beautiful and wonderful wife. Daddy was actually born female. He transitioned a long time a go (in a galaxy that wasn't all that far away). He has collared me so that he can watch out for me in my transitioning. He has helped me in dealing with my parents, work, and MANY MANY other things. He doesn't try to take the place of my dad (aka my biological dad) and he won't. But he is someone that watches over me during this journey and is the person that I am talking about when I say Daddy. If I say Dad, or my father, then I am talking about my biological dad.
Dad is at a different point in all of this and he is trying and will someday get there (I hope soon, but when it needs to happen, it will happen). Anyway, that's enough background for now.

Income

As most of us have realized, having a second job is necessary at this point in time. With the help of a digital camera, I will eventually be able to photograph some of my craft work and can start putting it up for sale on eBay. I think it will be a cool concept that I will be making toys and clothes and stuff and able to sell them. Now, if the bank actually approves my loan (which could happen, but I won't hold my breath), I can start doing that within a week or so. If they don't approve the loan, it may take a little longer. But it will be fun either way and it will be cool that I will kinda have my own business. YEAH!!!!

Trouble in the Road

So, I learned about sexual harrassment today. It was pretty interesting, because, evidently, someone was uncomfortable with me talking about surgery that I would eventually have. Now, I understand that it might make someone uncomfortable. But I was shocked to think of it in terms of sexual harrasment. First off, I was answering someone's question. I didn't bring up the topic on my own. The second thing is that it has NOTHING to do with sex. It's not about sex at all.
I do have to give TONS of credit to my bosses. They handled the situation VERY professionally and told me that I have just as much right to be comfortable at my job as the person who made the complaint and that if I needed to talk to them about it, they would be more than welcome to hear me out. They said that my work is going VERY well and that they have no problems with my work abilities, but that it might be a good idea to answer questions about surgery and stuff, during breaks and times like that. They also said that they have no problems with my transitioning either (which works well since I've been wearing nail polish and such since working here). It does mean going slightly towards the closet again, but, if that's what I need to do to get where I need to go, then so be it.
The next goal is to start taking promo tests. A large part of the office is doing so this weekend, but I'm not eligble for another two months. So I'm just waiting for Novemeber 7th (course, I have to hope that there are still tests at that point).