Actions Speak Louder than Words

Several years ago, I was a very active member of the gay leather community. My best friend (at the time) was a title and former title holder and I went with her to many events. Sometime we just went to support it, sometimes we were going to help out with the actual event. We had a blast (at least I did) at the event as well as traveling there. At the time, I just considered myself a drag queen, but I always did the events as Tiffany Jean (aka the vinyl princess). I received some great support about how the leather community needed, or that it was a great way to open the community up to the rest of the gay community. Some of the best support came from some long time members of the community.
Then came a date that I was scheduled to help at. I was told that I would not be allowed to dress. I understand the reasoning behind it. They had a difficult time getting a leather event to be held in that particular city. In hindsight, I don't blame them for having to tell me not to dress. HOWEVER, it was the same people who were supporting me privately and couldn't publicly. In our present day and time, an honest person is hard to find. I will admit that I am not always honest, but I try my hardest and pick my wording VERY VERY carefully. I also have a good memory for important conversations in my life and that, too, makes me careful with the words that I choose.
I will give the leather people the respect that they have earned. They took me aside afterward and thanked me for not dressing. They understood what I went through and how difficult it was. It was very difficult to understand how someone could be moving towards what I was doing privately and not be able to do it publicly. This makes it difficult for me to trust peoples words. Their actions are what I base my judgements on. However, it makes it much easier for them to gain my trust.
One of my derby friends did a very simple thing and I think she's one of the greatest people in the world!!! She has recently shown that to be even more true (but that has to do with my next post). What she did to gain my trust was very simple. Before a practice, she came over to me and handed me an invite. Her significant other had completed a documentary that was his final project for school. It was a documentary on transitioning, and she knew that it was a topic that was very important to me. She wasn't forceful about it, she just simply explained it and invited me to the opening of it. Just that simple act showed me that she cared and, at least wanted to understand what I was doing (granted, since her significant other had transitioned, she did understand it very VERY well). For me, it's the little things that show me what type of message you actually want to send to me.

Stay tuned for news on the derby front